Model by: Cliona Smith
Four figures inhabit the wreckage of kitchen / living room, the contents of which are strewn across floor.
Staycation
by Miriam Colvin
ACT 1
SCENE 1
LIGHTS UP ON:
A New York City Apartment in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. There are messes all over the countertops, tables, and floors. Moving boxes overflown with things, dishes unwashed, dirty containers of food, and more. CHRISTINE and JOHN sit around the small kitchen table writing out a list on a notepad.
CHRISTINE
(reading off of list)
Vegetable Ranch tray, Crackers and cheese, a bottle of wine, 24 pack of beer, two bottles
of Tequila, Margarita mix, one bottle of vodka. What else?
JOHN
Cups. We need plastic cups to drink out of.
CHRISTINE adds “cups” to her list. Then all of the sudden, the front door swings open and DAD walks in. He immediately looks unhappy at the mess in front of him. JOHN and CHRISTINE become visibly nervous.
CHRISTINE
(overly happy)
Dad! What a great surprise! You weren’t supposed to come till next week!
JOHN
Hey Dad!
They both try to give DAD a hug, but he doesn’t hug back. He slowly walks around the house taking in all of the trash and filth around him.
DAD
(quietly)
You’ve had two weeks.
(much louder)
You’ve had TWO WEEKS CHRISTINE to pack this place up! Old food, dirty dishes,
overflowing boxes, paintings still on the wall! You haven’t even taken the magnets off the
goddamn fridge?!
JOHN
I can see how this may look-
DAD
(to JOHN)
And what are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here!
JOHN
Well, I’ve been staying with Christine this week to help out.... and it’s only a five minute
walk to work. I mean you know how the commute from Brooklyn can be!
CHRISTINE
It’s been hard, Dad, going through all of Grandma’s stuff. I don’t know if I’m ready....
emotionally-
DAD
I want all of this cleared out by tomorrow! And both of you gone!
MATTHEW walks into the living room wearing a matching pajama set. He sits down on the couch and yawns.
MATTHEW
(nonchalant)
Oh, hey Dad.
DAD
You’ve been staying here too?
MATTHEW
Yeah, I had a week of vacation days saved up. This is a great lil apartment. Grandma did
really well with the place.
DAD
What about Myra and the kids?
MATTHEW
Oh. I’m on an “important business trip” right now.
DAD
My god. You are all in your 30s!! Have I raised you to become a bunch of children?!
MATTHEW starts eating pizza from an old pizza box on the living room table.
You’re a father for Christ’s sake!
MATTHEW wraps himself in a blanket to get cozy. He puts his feet on the table and turns on the TV. Everyone watches him as he does this.
CHRISTINE
(whispering)
I’m really worried about him. He’s been like this all week. He barely even talks to us he
just watches that stupid TV.
Pause. They observe what he’s doing for a little while longer.
He’s even been sleeping in Grandma’s bed.
Dad’s face fills with rage.
DAD
Matthew Grayson Miller! You are disgracing this family’s name!
DAD starts throwing things around the kitchen into a trash can frantically. He aggressively puts the dishes into the sink.
Sleeping in my dead mother’s bedroom?! Have you all lost touch with reality? Nothing
but disrespect to my mother’s name. Your own grandmother’s home covered in dirt, filth,
and garbage.
He picks up the notepad on the kitchen table CHRISTINE and JOHN were writing in earlier.
“Party Supplies.”
Pause.
Were you planning on throwing a party here?
JOHN
Think of it as a sort of... celebration for Grandma, you know?
DAD
It’s clear that all three of you are in some sort of mid-life crisis and I’m not gonna sit
back and let it happen. Don’t bother coming to the funeral this weekend. I’m sure you can
grieve in your own twisted way.
DAD walks out angrily and slams the front door shut.
CHRISTINE
(defeated)
Well, we better start cleaning up.
JOHN
Do we still throw the party?
MATTHEW
Yeah.
CHRISTINE
Yeah of course.
END OF PLAY
Audio Recording
Christine: Katie Dinsmore
John: Will Adams
Dad: Jack Vickers
Matthew: Flynn Nolen
Directed by: Miriam Colvin
Miriam Colvin
Miriam Colvin is a playwright, director, and actor from Jupiter, Florida. She is a third year B.A. Theatre Studies student at Penn State, minoring in Creative Writing. Miriam spends a lot of her time writing plays, and recently showcased a staged reading of her play The Production Meeting at Penn State’s “New Works Festival.” She also performed in Mountain Language last Spring at the Downtown State Theatre. Miriam is a comedian at heart and is very involved in the Penn State comedy community. She is the Vice President of Second-Floor Stand Up Club and a member of Derby: A Women’s Comedy Troupe. Her next project on the list is producing one of her new plays, MOCK, in the fall.
Cliona Smith
Clíona Smith is a scenic designer and model builder who grew up mostly in Dallas, Texas. She has a BFA in scenic design from the University of Oklahoma. During her time in undergrad, she designed Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberley, Cabaret, Così fan tutte and Men on Boats. She has been model building professionally for four years, working for two of her professors on their designs outside of OU.
She is the recipient of the 2021 Richard Hay Undergraduate Scenic Design award from the United States Institute for Theatre Technology, and her design for Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberley placed second in the Southeaster Theatre Conference Undergraduate Scenic Design Competition. Clíona will be moving to NYC this June and is looking for work with scenic designers as a model builder/assistant.
Plays
Pityriasis Rosea
Don’t Look Down
Promise
Labyrinth
Psalm 104
On Apocalypses
The Heath